Mark Twain

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.

But they (the infantry) had no use for boys of twelve and thirteen, and before I had a chance in another war, the desire to kill people to whom I had not been introduced had passed away.

The fact is, the king was a good deal more than a king, he was a man; and when a man is a man, you can't knock it out of him.

One of the proofs of the immortality of the soul is that myriads have believed it. They also believed the world was flat.

Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it.