In the process of looking for comedy, you have to be deeply honest. And in doing that, you'll find out here's the other side. You'll be looking under the rock occasionally for the laughter.

They do what they do for money - that's all. I don't even know why you're listening to me. I've done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can't even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.

My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot. So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.'

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

Agnes was the worst prophet that's ever existed. Because she was always right. That's why the book never sold.

Comedy was my sport. It taught me how to roll with the punches. Failure is the exact same as success when it comes to comedy because it just keeps coming. It never stops.