Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho MarxRead
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Interpretation
Alimony is pointless if the relationship is over, just like feeding a dead horse.
This quote by Groucho Marx humorously highlights the absurdity of paying alimony after a marriage has ended, comparing it to the futile act of buying hay for a horse that can no longer eat. It suggests that continuing to invest in something that is no longer alive or functional is both wasteful and nonsensical, which serves as a witty commentary on the nature of post-divorce financial obligations.
In practice
Sharing this quote during a humorous toast at a divorce party.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.
Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.
Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar" Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change." Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.
Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth.
Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!
I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn't understand, and in a way still don't, because when I look in a mirror it doesn't seem funny to me.
In this desperate way, I started many a comedy.
Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain.
That's the kind of ad I like, facts, facts, facts.
There are many times when a woman will ask another girl friend how she likes her new hat. She will reply, 'Fine,' but slap her hand to her forehead the minute the girl leaves to yipe, 'What a horror!'
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