Art begins when a man, with a purpose of communicating to other people a feeling he once experienced, calls it up again within himself and expresses it by certain external signs.
Leo TolstoyRead
The chief cause of unhappiness in married life is that people think that marriage is sex attraction, which takes the form of promises and hopes and happiness - a view supported by public opinion and by literature. But marriage cannot cause happiness. Instead, it is always torture, which man has to pay for satisfying his sex urge.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Marriage is often misunderstood as merely a sexual attraction, leading to unhappiness when this expectation is unmet.
In this quote, Leo Tolstoy critiques the common belief that marriage is fundamentally about sexual attraction and the happiness it supposedly brings. He argues that this misconception can lead to disappointment and suffering, as true happiness in marriage cannot be derived from mere sexual desires or societal expectations, but rather from deeper emotional and relational connections. By framing marriage as a potential source of 'torture,' Tolstoy emphasizes the complexities and challenges that come with intimate partnerships that go beyond superficial attractions.
Themes
MarriageHappinessRelationshipsExpectationsUnhappiness
In practice
Example use cases
This quote could be shared in a relationship counseling session to highlight misconceptions about marriage.
More from Leo Tolstoy
All quotes →Pierre looked into the sky, into the depths of the retreating, twinkling stars. "And all this is mine, and all this is in me, and all this is me!" thought Pierre. "And all this they've caught and put in a shed and boarded it up!
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People try to do all sorts of clever and difficult things to improve life instead of doing the simplest, easiest thing-refusing to participate in activities that make life bad.
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It's too easy to criticize a man when he's out of favour, and to make him shoulder the blame for everybody else's mistakes.
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Music is the shorthand of emotion. Emotions, which let themselves be described in words with such difficulty, are directly conveyed to man in music, and in that is its power and significance.
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A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor — such is my idea of happiness.
Leo TolstoyRead
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