Students should not only be trained to live in a democracy when they grow up; they should have the chance to live in one today.
Alfie KohnRead
Some who support [more] coercive strategies assume that children will run wild if they are not controlled. However, the children for whom this is true typically turn out to be those accustomed to being controlled— those who are not trusted, given explanations, encouraged to think for themselves, helped to develop and internalize good values, and so on. Control breeds the need for more control, which is used to justify the use of control.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Controlling children can lead to rebellion and mistrust, while trust and guidance promote positive behavior.
Alfie Kohn's quote emphasizes that coercive methods of control can produce problems in children, leading to a cycle where control begets further control. Instead, fostering an environment of trust and encouragement allows children to develop their own values and think critically, resulting in better behavior and self-regulation.
Themes
ControlTrustEducationChildrenValues
In practice
Example use cases
This quote can be shared during a parenting workshop to highlight the importance of trust in child development.
More from Alfie Kohn
All quotes →Children, after all, are not just adults-in-the-making. They are people whose current needs and rights and experiences must be taken seriously.
Alfie KohnRead
In some suburban schools, the curriculum is chock-full of rigorous A.P. courses and the parking lot glitters with pricey SUVs, but one doesn't have to look hard to find students who are starving themselves, cutting themselves, or medicating themselves, as well students who are taking out their frustrations on those who sit lower on the social food chain.
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If a child is off-task...mayb e the problem is not the child...maybe it's the task.
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How can we do our best when we are spending our energies trying to make others lose - and fearing that they will make us lose?
Alfie KohnRead
Each time I visit such a classroom, where the teacher is more interested in creating a democratic community than in maintaining her position of authority, I’m convinced all over again that moving away from consequences and rewards isn’t just realistic - it’s the best way to help kids grow into good learners and good people.
Alfie KohnRead
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