Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.
Interpretation
This quote humorously critiques custard by suggesting that it is the result of a sinister collaboration among various food producers.
Ambrose Bierce's quote reflects a satirical view of custard by characterizing it as an unpleasant concoction formed from a diabolical agreement between the hen, cow, and cook. Through this unusual perspective, Bierce employs humor to express disdain for custard, illustrating how culinary preferences can evoke strong opinions and feelings.
In practice
This quote can be shared at a dinner party to lighten the mood when discussing desserts.
PALM, n. A species of tree . . . of which the familiar "itching palm" ("Palma hominis") is most widely distributed . . . . This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver.
Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.
Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.'
Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command
NOUMENON, n. That which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can be apprehended only by a process of reasoning - which is a phenomenon.
PARDON, v. To remit a penalty and restore to the life of crime. To add to the lure of crime the temptation of ingratitude.
The truthiness is, anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news 'at' you.
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "Ask a glass of water."
There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you donβt have to be weird or be quirky to get your job done. And two, comedy skill is not sexually transmittable. You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what youβre doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?
Making people laugh is so much more difficult than making them sad. Too much fiction defaults to the somber, the tragic. This is because sad endings are easy in comparison - happy endings aren't at all simple to earn, especially when writing to an audience jaded by them.
Well, Bud," he said, looking at me, "I'll be damned if you don't go to a lot of trouble to have your fun. Kidnapping, then fighting. What do you do on your holidays? Burn houses?
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