I can never drive my car over a bridge without thinking of suicide. I can never look at a lake or an ocean without thinking of suicide.
She was desperate and she was choosey at the same time and, in a way, beautiful, but she didn't have quite enough going for her to become what she imagined herself to be.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote reflects the struggle between desire and reality, highlighting the tension of self-perception against one's circumstances.
In this quote, Bukowski captures the complexity of human aspiration and the often-painful dichotomy between one's dreams and actual capabilities. The subject is caught in a conflict of emotions, feeling a desperate need for fulfillment while also maintaining high standards for herself. This creates a paradox where she is aware of her own beauty and potential, yet feels insufficient to reach the ideal self she envisions, illustrating the relatable human experience of self-doubt and the barriers to achieving personal dreams.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
This quote could serve as a poignant reminder during a motivational talk about self-acceptance and ambition.
More from Charles Bukowski
All quotes →when I am feeling low all i have to do is watch my cats and my courage returns
The masses are always wrong...Wisdom is doing everything the crowd does not do. All you do is reverse the totality of their learning and you have the heaven they're looking for.
I'm going to open another vottle. not a vottle, but a bottle. you open it and I'll drink it. and you try to write as much as I did without falling off of your chair.
To experience real agony is something hard to write about, impossible to understand while it grips you; you're frightened out of your wits, can’t sit still, move, or even go decently insane.
I lapsed into my pathetic cut-off period. Often with humans, both good and bad, my senses simply shut off, they get tired, I give up. I am polite. I nod. I pretend to understand because I don’t want anybody to be hurt. That is the one weakness that has lead me into the most trouble. Trying to be kind to others I often get my soul shredded into a kind of spiritual pasta. No matter. My brain shuts off. I listen. I respond. And they are too dumb to know that I am not there.
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For I do not exist: there exist but the thousands of mirrors that reflect me. With every acquaintance I make, the population of phantoms resembling me increases. Somewhere they live, somewhere they multiply. I alone do not exist.
Damned money! Alas! How many religious did it blind! How many cloistered religious did it deceive! Money is the 'droppings of birds' that blinded the eyes of Tobit.
You can't have capitalism without racism.
The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.