You spend so much time in the world of virtual that the actual - which nothing is more actual than stand-up - it's a painful experience for the audience, and the comedian a lot of time - we miss that.
Jerry SeinfeldRead
You know why dogs have no money? No pockets. 'Cause they see change on the street all the time and it's driving them crazy. When you're walking them, he is always looking up at you. "There's a quarter...."
Interpretation
This quote humorously highlights the simplicity of a dog's perspective on money and its obsession with shiny objects.
Jerry Seinfeld's quote plays on the idea that dogs are constantly intrigued by the change they see on the ground, using it as a comedic observation of their naive perspective. Through the lens of humor, he illustrates how dogs perceive value differently than humans, emphasizing their playful and curious nature, while also poking fun at the concept of money itself.
In practice
Use this quote in a stand-up comedy routine about pets and their quirky behaviors.
You spend so much time in the world of virtual that the actual - which nothing is more actual than stand-up - it's a painful experience for the audience, and the comedian a lot of time - we miss that.
I didn't know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it's a musical.
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'
There is no such thing as an attention span. There is only the quality of what you are viewing. This whole idea of an attention span is, I think, a misnomer. People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.
When you make a TV show, they always say you're a guest in someone's home. Online, you're a guest in someone's face. So that's why I try to make it sound and look and feel very inviting and attractive, because I know that I'm in your face.
From here on in, Harry, I may be as woefully wrong as Humphrey Belcher who believed the time was ripe for a cheese cauldron.
Rugby is a good occasion for keeping thirty bullies far from the center of the city.
Mr. Bibbit, you might warn this Mr. Harding that I'm so crazy I admit to voting for Eisenhower. Bibbit! You tell Mr. McMurphy I'm so crazy I voted for Eisenhower twice! And you tell Mr. Harding right back β he puts both hands on the table and leans down, his voice getting low β that I'm so crazy I plan to vote for Eisenhower again this November.
To say that George Lucas cannot write a love scene is an understatement; greeting cards have expressed more passion.
I was so ugly that my parents sent my picture to 'ripley's believe it or not' - they sent it back and said, "we don't believe it."
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
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