How do I control my emotions? How do I stop getting angry so often, or how do I stop being sad? And I think there's a really important distinction to understand is that you can't completely control your emotions. What you control is your reaction to your own emotions. And a lot of people don't ever make that separation for what goes on with them.
Interpretation
You cannot control your emotions entirely, but you can control how you respond to them.
Mark Manson emphasizes the importance of recognizing that while we cannot completely control our emotional state, we have the power to control our reactions to those emotions. This understanding allows us to process our feelings more effectively and respond to situations in a healthier manner.
In practice
During a discussion about mental health at a community center.
Whereas a lot of Buddhism concerns itself with stages of enlightenment, various precepts and moral codes, and even power structures and hierarchies, Zen is just like, 'Shut up, sit down, and observe your thoughts - oh, and by the way, what you perceive as you' doesn't actually exist.' I loved the minimalist approach of it.
I think people who become compulsive about fitness or eating right, a lot of the time it's out of fear that they're going to lose control or that they're not good enough, so I think anything done out of fear or motivated by fear is often unhealthy.
Many people come to self-help material because they feel like something is wrong with them or the way they are. The problem is that anything that tells you how to improve your life is also implying that there is something inherently wrong with you the way you are.
The first and perhaps most important thing to realize about being happier in life is to stop trying to be so happy in life.
Writing/reading is like visiting another person's brain. And a short book or article is like a short stay. You come in, have a coffee, talk about the weather or sports, and then move on.
I think humility - which I think is a very good value to adopt - is basically an extension of understanding your own ignorance.
What soon grows old? Gratitude.
Spare yourselves from the indulgence of self-pity. It is always self-defeating. Subdue the negative and emphasize the positive.
As a teenager I wrote to R.A. Lafferty. And he responded, too, with letters that were like R.A. Lafferty short stories, filled with elliptical answers to straight questions and simple answers to complicated ones.
When ignorant folks want to advertise their ignorance, you don't really have to do anything, you just let them talk.
To distract myself from tiresome thoughts, I have only to resort to books; they easily draw my mind to themselves and away from other things.
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
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