I play the guitar. I taught myself how to play the guitar, which was a bad decision... because I didn't know how to play it, so I was a shitty teacher. I would never have went to me.
Mitch HedbergRead
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote humorously suggests that an escalator, even when not functioning, still serves a purpose as stairs.
Mitch Hedberg's quote plays with the idea that machines, when they malfunction, can still provide value in a different form. Instead of viewing a broken escalator as an inconvenience, it encourages us to appreciate its alternative function as stairs, all while delivering this message with his signature humor and wit.
Themes
EscalatorStairsHumorPerspectiveLife
In practice
Example use cases
This quote can be shared during a motivational speech about perspectives in life.
More from Mitch Hedberg
All quotes βI wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
Mitch HedbergRead
I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put stuff'. 'Do you know where I can store a pea' 'Yes, I have some locations available.'
Mitch HedbergRead
My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.
Mitch HedbergRead
One time a guy handed me a picture. He said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture is of you when you were younger. 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.' 'You son of bit, how'd you pull that off Let me see that camera. What's it look like'
Mitch HedbergRead
I think a rotisserie is like a really morbid ferris wheel for chickens. Itβs a strange piece of machinery . . . We will take the chicken, kill it, impale it, and then rotate it. And Iβll be damned if Iβm not hungry! Because spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water! I like dizzy chicken. With a side of potatoes of some sort.
Mitch HedbergRead
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You did what you were told or you didn't get paid, and if things went wrong it wasn't your problem. It was the fault of whatever idiot has accepted this message for sending in the first place. No one cared about you, and everyone at headquarters was an idiot. It wasn't your fault, no one listened to you. Headquarters had even started an Employee of the Month scheme to show how much they cared. That was how much they didn't care.
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