Every mother can easily imagine losing a child. Motherhood is always half loss anyway. The three-year-old is lost at five, the five-year-old at nine. We consort with ghosts, even as we sit and eat with, scold and kiss, their current corporeal forms. We speak to people who have vanished and, when they answer us, they do the same. Naturally, the information in these speeches is garbled in the translation.
Interpretation
This quote reflects the emotional complexities of motherhood, emphasizing the inevitable losses as children grow and change.
Karen Joy Fowler's quote explores the profound experience of motherhood, highlighting that mothers constantly grapple with the idea of loss as their children grow and evolve. Each stage of a child's development is marked by a sense of mourning for the previous version of the child that no longer exists, creating a unique mix of presence and absence. This relationship is imbued with emotions, where mothers engage with both the tangible and the ghostly remnants of who their children once were, acknowledging that these transitions can be painful yet are an intrinsic part of the nurturing process.
In practice
In a speech about parenting, you might reflect on the bittersweet nature of motherhood by quoting this.
There was something appealing in thinking of a character with a secret life that her author knew nothing about. Slipping off while the author's back was turned, to find love in her own way. Showing up just in time to deliver the next bit of dialogue with an innocent face.
Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories.
I worry about my children worrying about me, feeling like they need to be the strong ones. It's not the right order of things.
If tolerance, respect and equity permeate family life, they will translate into values that shape societies, nations and the world.
We believed in our idea - a family park where parents and children could have fun- together.
Even though my mom was talented and had a college degree, she lived in the era when the conventional wisdom in Dallas was that my dad worked, she was supposed to stay home and take care of the kids, and that was that. There really weren't other opportunities for her, and most of them were volunteer opportunities.
I have sometimes questioned the advice and direction I received from my parents and grandparents, but I never questioned the fact that they loved me. I learned that they were in a better position to know more about right and wrong than I did from my limited understanding and from my limited experience.
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