Admit when you're wrong. Shut up when you're right.
John M. GottmanRead
In a good relationship, people get angry, but in a very different way. The Marriage Masters see a problem a bit like a soccer ball. They kick it around. It's 'our' problem.
Interpretation
In healthy relationships, conflicts are viewed as shared challenges rather than personal attacks.
This quote by John M. Gottman emphasizes the importance of collaboration and perspective in relationships. Rather than seeing conflicts as a negative experience, it suggests that couples who embrace healthy dynamics understand that challenges can be viewed as 'our' problems to solve together, much like a soccer ball that can be kicked around and discussed openly.
In practice
During a couple's therapy session discussing how they handle disagreements.
Admit when you're wrong. Shut up when you're right.
Marriages are much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions whereas when the ratio approaches 1 to 1, marriages are more likely to end in divorce.
Gay and lesbian relationships operate on essentially the same principles as heterosexual relationships
I feel that women - without wishing to foster any strict separatist notions, homo or hetero - indeed have a need for their own publications and organizations. Our problems, our experiences as women are profoundly unique as compared to the other half of the human race.
With emotional abuse, the insults, insinuations, criticism, and accusations slowly eat away at the victim’s self-esteem until he or she is incapable of judging a situation realistically. He or she may begin to believe that there is something wrong with them or even fear they are losing their mind. They have become so beaten down emotionally that they blame themselves for the abuse.
If you want to connect with people who are in distress and great grief and scared, you need to do it in a certain way. I move kind of slow. I talk kind of slow. I let them know that I respect them.
I've got to stop getting obsessed with human beings and fall in love with a chair. Chairs have everything human beings have to offer, and less, which is obviously what I need. Less emotional feedback, less warmth, less approval, less patience and less response. The less the merrier. Chairs it is. I must furnish my heart with feelings for furniture.
The unfortunate need people who will be kind to them; the prosperous need people to be kind to.
The pieces I am, she gather them and gave them back to me in all the right order.
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