If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander.
Interpretation
This quote humorously suggests that someone's face is making false accusations against them.
Terry Pratchett's quote uses wit to highlight the irony of self-deprecation, implying that one's own appearance can unjustly damage their reputation or invite ridicule. It plays on the idea that the visible mistakes or traits of our appearance can lead to judgment or misinterpretation by others, in a tongue-in-cheek manner, encouraging a light-hearted approach to self-image.
In practice
This quote can be used in a comedy routine to lighten the mood about self-image.
And then Jack chopped down what was the world's last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement, and trespass charges already mentioned, and all the giant's children didn't have a daddy anymore. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after, without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done...which proves that you can be excused for just about anything if you are a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions.
They've got something they do it with, I think it's called a mocracy, and it means everyone in the whole country can say who the new Tyrant is. One man ... one vet. ... Everyone has ... the vet. Except for women, of course. And children. And criminals. And slaves. And stupid people. And people of foreign extraction. And people disapproved of for, er, various reasons. And lots of other people. But everyone apart from them. It's a very enlightened civilization.
Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it.
You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.
Any fool could be a witch with a runic knife, but it took skill to be one with an apple corer.
People look down on stuff like geography and meteorology, and not only because they're standing on one and being soaked by the other. They don't look quite like real science. But geography is only physics slowed down and with a few trees stuck on it, and meteorology is full of excitingly fashionable chaos and complexity. And summer isn't a time. It's a place as well. Summer is a moving creature and likes to go south for the winter.
Reality continues to ruin my life.
I've always said people say on a dramatic show, 'I was crying. It was so emotional when he went and grabbed that little girl from a burning building and handed her over to her mother.' In comedy, the best thing you can say is, 'I think it's funny.'
UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
Nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the onset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have a malady in the less attractive forms.
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
Actually, depravity can be terribly boring if you don't smoke or drink.
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