An intimate relationship is one in which neither party silences, sacrifices, or betrays the self and each party expresses strength and vulnerability, weakness and competence in a balanced way.
Interpretation
An intimate relationship allows both partners to be their true selves without fear of losing their identity.
This quote by Harriet Lerner emphasizes that true intimacy in relationships is built on the foundation of honesty and authenticity. It suggests that each partner should feel free to express both their strengths and vulnerabilities, fostering a space where neither feels the need to compromise their true self or silence their voice. By balancing these aspects, a deeper, more meaningful connection can be achieved.
In practice
In a relationship workshop, to illustrate emotional balance.
It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run but, it will never make you less afraid.
Telling a true story about personal experience is not just a matter of being oneself, or even or finding oneself. It is also a matter of choosing oneself.
Those of us who are locked into ineffective expressions of anger suffer as deeply as those of us who dare not get angry at all.
If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.
Although the connections are not always obvious, personal change is inseparable from social and political change.
Even if a relationship is breakable, it doesn’t mean it isn’t worthwhile, beautiful, and all the things that we look for.
Brothers and sisters, friends and enemies: I just can't believe everyone in here is a friend, and I don't want to leave anybody out.
He breathed out the bitter air that makes women doubt everything, and I breathed it in, as I had always done. I expelled my dust, the powder of everything I had destroyed with doubt, and he pulled it into his lungs.
Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.
Until you have become really, in actual fact, as brother to everyone, brotherhood will not come to pass.
Why is it that one can look at a lion or a planet or an owl or at someone's finger as long as one pleases, but looking into the eyes of another person is, if prolonged past a second, a perilous affair?
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