The writer is the person who stands outside society, independent of affiliation and independent of influence.
I long for the days of disorder. I want them back, the days when I was alive on the earth, rippling in the quick of my skin, heedless and real. I was dumb-muscled and angry and real. This is what I long for, the breach of peace, the days of disarray when I walked real streets and did things slap-bang and felt angry and ready all the time, a danger to others and a distant mystery to myself.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote expresses a longing for a chaotic and raw existence, reflecting a desire for authenticity in life despite its disorder.
In this quote, Don Delillo reminisces about a past filled with intensity and emotion, contrasting it with a more peaceful present. He yearns for the vitality and authenticity found in chaos, where he felt truly alive, raw, and connected to his own urges and experiences, even if they made him a danger to others and a mystery to himself. This longing for disarray highlights the human experience of grappling with the balance between order and chaos in pursuit of genuine existence.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
This quote could be used during a talk on the importance of embracing chaos in creative processes.
More from Don Delillo
All quotes →War is the form nostalgia takes when men are hard-pressed to say something good about their country.
American writers ought to stand and live in the margins, and be more dangerous.
For me, writing is a concentrated form of thinking.
I used to think it was possible for an artist to alter the inner life of the culture. Now bomb-makers and gunmen have taken that territory.
[I]n the American soul there is a lonely individual standing in a vast landscape. He is either on a horse or driving a car, depending, and either way he’s carrying a gun. This is one of the essential images in American mythology.
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As I look back at the entire tapestry of my life, I can see from the perspective of the present moment that every aspect of my life was necessary and perfect. Each step eventually led to a higher place, even though these steps often felt like obstacles or painful experiences.