It's not enough to just be yourself. You must be your best self
A lot of guys are very intimidated by an attractive woman, and they dehumanise her because our culture perceives beautiful women as commodities. But I think if you're able walk up to a person and get to know them, and you see their flaws and their impurities, and realise that they're like you, then you can humanise them again.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote highlights the tendency to objectify attractive women, urging a deeper connection to see them as real individuals with flaws.
Neil Strauss discusses how society often views beautiful women as mere objects, leading to a disconnect in genuine human relationships. He argues that when one takes the time to approach and engage with a person, seeing them beyond their physical appearance, it fosters a more authentic understanding and appreciation of their humanity. This deeper connection allows individuals to recognize that everyone has imperfections, making it possible to relate to them on a more personal level.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
In a seminar about empowering women, this quote could illustrate the importance of seeing beyond beauty.
More from Neil Strauss
All quotes βTo me, I think it's awesome to meet your heroes and find out who they are and where they came from and what made them choose to communicate in the form that connected with you.
In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get to it. This isn't because the universe is cruel. It's because the universe is smart. It has its own cat-string theory and knows we don't appreciate things that fall into our laps.
There are certain bad habits we've groomed our whole life -- from personality flaws to fashion faux pas. And it has been the role of parents and friends, outside of some minor tweaking, to reinforce the belief that we're okay just as we are. But it's not enough to just be yourself. You have to be your best self. And that's a tall order if you haven't found your best self yet.
In fact, every woman I met seemed disposable and replaceable. I was experiencing seducer's paradox: The better a seducer I became, the less I loved women. Success was no longer defined by getting laid or finding a girlfriend, but by how well I performed.
One of the reasons I became a writer is that, unlike starting a band, directing movies, or acting in a theatrical production, you can do it alone. Your success and failure depend entirely on yourself.
Similar quotes
It is curious how much more interest can be evoked by a mixture of gossip, romance and mystery than by facts.
I am always saying "Glad to've met you" to somebody I'm not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.
When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated, and ambitious.
Compliments win friends, honesty loses them.
The bonds that unite us to another human being are sanctified when he or she adopts the same point of view as ourselves in judging one of our imperfections.
Man's objection to love is that it dies hard: women's, that when it is dead it stays dead.