Of the widow's countless death-duties there is really just one that matters: on the first anniversary of her husband's death the widow should think I kept myself alive.
Joyce Carol OatesRead
A lot of widows feel that they have betrayed their spouse by continuing to live. It's deranged thinking. I know that, but that doesn't stop you feeling it.
Interpretation
Widows often struggle with guilt about living after the loss of their spouse, despite it being an irrational feeling.
In this quote, Joyce Carol Oates highlights the complex emotions that widows experience after the death of their spouses. She points out that many of them wrestle with feelings of betrayal for continuing their lives, even though they recognize that this thought process is irrational. This dichotomy of understanding their feelings while still being consumed by guilt underscores the deep emotional turmoil that comes with grief and loss.
In practice
In a support group for widows, this quote can help spark a discussion on feelings of guilt.
Of the widow's countless death-duties there is really just one that matters: on the first anniversary of her husband's death the widow should think I kept myself alive.
I never really knew I wanted to 'be' a writer, but I was always writing from a very young age. It became more conscious as an ideal when I was in my twenties.
I'm drawn to write about upstate New York in the way in which a dreamer might have recurring dreams. My childhood and girlhood were spent in upstate New York, in the country north of Buffalo and West of Rochester. So this part of New York state is very familiar to me and, with its economic difficulties, has become emblematic of much of American life.
My writing is often a way of 'bearing witness' for others who lack the education and the opportunity to tell their own stories, so I hope that my writing won't be affected too much by my personal life.
The worst cynicism: a belief in luck.
. . . there is a wish in the heart of mankind to be distracted and confused. Truth is but one attraction, and not always the most powerful.
If you feel like it's hard to be friends with women, consider that maybe women aren't the problem. Maybe it's just you.
I think sometimes in the focus on deep friendships and on romantic relationships, we can lose sight of how important the small connections we make are with strangers and with people that we may encounter for just a few seconds or a few minutes, whether it's the barista at our coffee shop or the stranger next to us on the subway.
Empathy is not simply a matter of trying to imagine what others are going through, but having the will to muster enough courage to do something about it. In a way, empathy is predicated upon hope.
Many employer-employee relationships are built on a lie that starts from the first interaction: neither party automatically conceives of the relationship as something that will last a lifetime, but both interact as if it is. This lie of omission bases the relationship on distrust.
You can survive on your own; you can grow strong on your own; you can prevail on your own; but you cannot become human on your own.
Is there something about the gay experience, being gay and the gay experience, that pushes us even more than other people toward competition?
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