To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before
Rollo MayRead
Love is generally confused with dependence; but in point of fact, you can love only in proportion to your capacity for independence.
Interpretation
What this quote means
True love is rooted in independence rather than dependence on another person.
Rollo May's quote emphasizes the distinction between love and dependence, asserting that genuine love flourishes when individuals have a strong sense of independence. The capacity to love is contingent upon one's ability to stand on their own, rather than relying on another person for emotional stability or fulfillment. This perspective challenges the common notion that love equates to attachment, advocating instead for a healthier, more autonomous understanding of love.
Themes
LoveIndependenceRelationshipSelf-RelianceEmotional Health
In practice
Example use cases
This quote could be shared during a discussion on relationships to highlight the importance of personal autonomy.
More from Rollo May
All quotes βTerrorism and the whole drug scene are vivid examples of the fact that what persons abhor most of all in life is the possibility that they will not matter.
Rollo MayRead
Humor is the healthy way of feeling "distance" between one's self and the problem, a way of standing off and looking at one's problem with perspective.
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Beauty is the experience that gives us a sense of joy and a sense of peace simultaneously.
Rollo MayRead
The poet, like the lover, is a menace on the assembly line.
Rollo MayRead
Joy is the zest that you get out of using your talents, your understanding, the totality of your being, for great aims...That's the kind of feeling that goes with creativity. That's why I say the courage to create. Creation does not come out of simply what you're born with. That must be united with your courage, both of which cause anxiety, but also great joy.
Rollo MayRead
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