Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Interpretation
Marriage is inherently uncertain and cannot provide absolute guarantees, unlike inanimate objects. It requires commitment despite its unpredictability.
This quote by Erma Bombeck highlights the unpredictable nature of marriage. It suggests that if one is seeking certainty and guarantees, they should consider a mundane object like a car battery instead, as true relationships, including marriage, involve complexities and uncertainties that cannot be guaranteed or controlled.
In practice
This quote could be shared during a wedding toast to remind couples about the realities of marriage.
We've got a generation now who were born with semiequality. They don't know how it was before, so they think, this isn't too bad. We're working. We have our attache' cases and our three piece suits. I get very disgusted with the younger generation of women. We had a torch to pass, and they are just sitting there. They don't realize it can be taken away. Things are going to have to get worse before they join in fighting the battle.
You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it's on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw.
Not everyone is comfortable with the kissing ritual. My husband is one of them. Her refuses to press lips with anyone except his wife, mother, and dog. If someone wanted to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, he would refuse until he had been formally introduced.
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
I am stuffing your mouth with your promises and watching you vomit them out upon my face.
Today, when I saw you, I realized that what is between us is nothing more than an illusion.
Today, the people are governing the governments. And when they begin to talk to each other, they are surprised, they can be friends. Why should we hate each other?
Empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself.
I felt the first man I slept with must be intelligent, so I could respect him.
Nearly forty years ago, a distinguished Prime Minister of this country ... said, 'They may not be angels but they are at least our friends.'* I must say that I do not think that we probably demonstrated in that forty years that we are angels yet, but I hope we have demonstrated that we are at least friends.
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