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If you don’t define yourself for yourself then you will be crushed into other's fantasies of you and eaten alive
Audre Lorde
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Interpretation

What this quote means

Self-definition is crucial to avoid being shaped by others' expectations.

This quote emphasizes the importance of self-identity and personal autonomy. Audre Lorde warns that if individuals do not take the initiative to define who they are, they risk being molded by the perceptions and fantasies of others, which can lead to a loss of individuality and a sense of being overwhelmed by external pressures.

Themes

Self-DefinitionIdentityIndividualityAutonomyExpectations

In practice

Example use cases

This quote can inspire students in a graduation speech about embracing their own identities.

More from Audre Lorde

The fact that we are here and that I speak these words is an attempt to break that silence and bridge some of those differences between us, for it is not difference which immobilizes us, but silence. And there are so many silences to be broken.
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There is no thing as a single-issue struggle because we do not live single-issue lives.
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There are no new ideas. There are only new ways of making them felt.
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I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.
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I am deliberate and afraid of nothing.
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There's always someone asking you to underline one piece of yourself - whether it's Black, woman, mother, dyke, teacher, etc. - because that's the piece that they need to key in to. They want to dismiss everything else.
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