Never once, during any of my bouts of depression, had I been inclined or able to pick up a telephone and ask a friend for help. It wasn't in me.
People respond differently to people who are grieving. They reach out. But depression is so very isolating. It's hard to explain to anyone who has never been depressed how isolating it is. Grief comes and goes, but depression is unremitting.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Grief is a temporary emotional response to loss, while depression creates a deep sense of isolation that can persist indefinitely.
In this quote, Kay Redfield Jamison distinguishes between grief and depression, highlighting how grief elicits support and understanding from others, while depression often leads to feelings of isolation and misunderstanding. She emphasizes that those who have experienced depression know the profound nature of its isolating effects, contrasting it with the more transient experience of grief, which, although painful, tends to invite connection and support from others.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
Sharing this quote in a mental health awareness campaign to highlight the differences between grief and depression.
More from Kay Redfield Jamison
All quotes →No pill can help me deal with the problem of not wanting to take pills; likewise, no amount of psychotherapy alone can prevent my manias and depressions. I need both. It is an odd thing, owing life to pills, one's own quirks and tenacities, and this unique, strange, and ultimately profound relationship called psychotherapy
Mood disorders are terribly painful illnesses, and they are isolating illnesses. And they make people feel terrible about themselves when, in fact, they can be treated.
When people are suicidal, their thinking is paralyzed, their options appear spare or nonexistent, their mood is despairing, and hopelessness permeates their entire mental domain. The future cannot be separated from the present, and the present is painful beyond solace. ‘This is my last experiment,’ wrote a young chemist in his suicide note. ‘If there is any eternal torment worse than mine I’ll have to be shown.
When public figures remain silent about depression, there is a cost to the rest of society. Silence contributes to the misperception that successful people do not get depressed, and it keeps the public from seeing that treatment allows many individuals to return to competitive professional lives.
Because I teach and write about depression and bipolar illness, I am often asked what is the most important factor in treating bipolar disorder. My answer is competence. Empathy is important, but competence is essential.
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