Meditation is not a means of forgetting the ego; it is a method of using the ego to observe and tame its own manifestations.
Mark EpsteinRead
While the primary function of formal Buddhist meditation is to create the possibility of the experience of "being," my work as a therapist has shown me that the demands of intimate life can be just as useful as meditation in moving people toward this capacity. Just as in formal meditation, intimate relationships teach us that the more we relate to each other as objects, the greater our disappointment. The trick, as in meditation, is to use this disappointment to change the way we relate.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Intimate relationships can help us become more aware of our capacity to 'be', similar to meditation.
This quote emphasizes the parallels between formal meditation and intimate relationships in fostering self-awareness and personal growth. It suggests that while meditation is traditionally viewed as a means to experience existence fully, the challenges and interactions in close relationships can also lead to profound insights and transformations. Both practices teach us about our tendencies to objectify others, and they encourage us to use moments of disappointment as opportunities for change in how we connect with one another.
Themes
MeditationRelationshipsSelf-AwarenessIntimacyDisappointment
In practice
Example use cases
In a workshop on personal growth, this quote can be shared to highlight the importance of both meditation and relationships.
More from Mark Epstein
All quotes →Desire is a teacher: When we immerse ourselves in it without guilt, shame, or clinging, it can show us something special about our own minds that allows us to embrace life fully.
Mark EpsteinRead
If aspects of the person remain undigested-cut off, denied, projected, rejected, indulged, or otherwise unassimilated-they become the points around which the core forces of greed, hatred and delusion attach themselves.
Mark EpsteinRead
It is exceedingly difficult to maintain a sense of absence without turning that absence into some kind of presence
Mark EpsteinRead
It’s one of my theories that when people give you advice, they’re really just talking to themselves in the past.
Mark EpsteinRead
We are looking for a way to feel more real, but we do not realize that to feel more real we have to push ourselves further into the unknown.
Mark EpsteinRead
Similar quotes
Associate only with positive, focused people who you can learn from and who will not drain your valuable energy with uninspiring attitudes. By developing relationships with those committed to constant improvement and the pursuit of the best that life has to offer, you will have plenty of company on your path to the top of whatever mountain you seek to climb.
Robin SharmaRead
What’s so phony nowadays is all this familiarity. Pretending there isn’t any difference between people —well, like you were saying about minorities, this morning. If you and I are no different, what do we have to give each other? How can we ever be friends?
Christopher IsherwoodRead
Strictly speaking, one should not even rightly compare virginity to marriage because you cannot make a comparison between two things if one is good and the other evil.
St. JeromeRead
A lot of black women still carry a lot of pain when they see black men with women who aren't black, and that's really unfortunate that that could make us so upset. It has to do with self esteem.
Regina KingRead
Well, you never knew exactly how much space you occupied in people's lives. Yet from this fog his affection emerged--the best contacts are when one knows the obstacles and still wants to preserve a relation.
F. Scott FitzgeraldRead
I ran away from home when I was a senior in high school, and it came out of all the conflicts that happen between parents and their children who can't communicate.
John DenverRead