Why can't women get along? Because we're afraid. We're afraid to be vulnerable. We're afraid to be soft. We're afraid to be hurt. But most of all, we're afraid of our power. So we become controlling and aggressive and vicious.
Iyanla VanzantRead
You have a right to say no. Most of us have very weak and flaccid 'no' muscles. We feel guilty for saying no. We get ostracized and challenged for saying no, so we forget it's our choice. Your 'no' muscle has to be built up to get to a place where you can say, 'I don't care if that's what you want. I don't want that. No.'
Interpretation
What this quote means
Saying 'no' is essential for maintaining personal boundaries and self-respect.
This quote highlights the importance of being able to assert oneself and set boundaries by saying 'no' without feeling guilt or fear of rejection. It encourages individuals to strengthen their ability to refuse requests that do not align with their desires, promoting self-empowerment and the recognition that personal choice is fundamental.
Themes
BoundariesSelf-RespectAssertivenessChoicePersonal Power
In practice
Example use cases
In a workshop on self-empowerment, sharing this quote can inspire participants to practice asserting their boundaries.
More from Iyanla Vanzant
All quotes →Challenges come so we can grow and be prepared for things we are not equipped to handle now. When we face our challenges with faith, prepared to learn, willing to make changes, and if necessary, to let go, we are demanding our power be turned on.
Iyanla VanzantRead
Feminine power is silent, dark, mysterious, healing, nurturing. A woman can walk into a room and control it. She doesn't even have to open her mouth if she knows where her power is.
Iyanla VanzantRead
You know when I was 20 and 30, they were insecurities. Now they're just a new normal. I'm 60 years old, so my expectations of who I am and how I look and how I show up in the world had to shift. Not because I couldn't help it, or not because I did anything wrong, but because I had to get into the natural flow of my being as a woman.
Iyanla VanzantRead
Your greatest adversary is also your greatest teacher. Like it or not, it is the job of certain people to bring out the worst in you. What they trigger is already in you. They are here to reveal the sore, tender wounded places in your heart and mind, and they are providing you with a wonderful and divine opportunity for healing.
Iyanla VanzantRead
When we find ourselves in the same situation repeatedly as a result of our conditioned responses, we must stop and do a new thing. The situation may look different. The route we take there may be altogether different. The lesson we must learn does not change. Get honest! Pay attention! Change what you do to create a change for yourself!
Iyanla VanzantRead
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