Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
Interpretation
This quote humorously defines rum as a dangerous drink for those who usually abstain from alcohol.
Ambrose Bierce's quote plays with the idea that certain intoxicating substances, particularly rum, can lead to irrational behavior and madness, especially in those who are not accustomed to drinking. The wit lies in the paradox of labeling rum generically while highlighting its potent effect on total abstainers, suggesting that for those who avoid alcohol, the experience of consuming it could be overwhelmingly chaotic and unpredictable.
In practice
This quote could be used at a social gathering to highlight the humorous risks of drinking.
PALM, n. A species of tree . . . of which the familiar "itching palm" ("Palma hominis") is most widely distributed . . . . This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver.
Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.
Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.'
Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command
NOUMENON, n. That which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can be apprehended only by a process of reasoning - which is a phenomenon.
PARDON, v. To remit a penalty and restore to the life of crime. To add to the lure of crime the temptation of ingratitude.
If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.
It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence.
He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
I tell you, that dragon's the most horrible animal I've ever met, but the way Hagrid goes on about it, you'd think it was a fluffy little bunny rabbit.
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth 'It unscrews the other way.
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