… our sons must become men – such men as we hope our daughters, born and unborn, will be pleased to live among. Our sons will not grow into women. Their way is more difficult than that of our daughters, for they must move away from us, without us. Hopefully ours have what they have learned from us, and a howness to forge into their own image.
Interpretation
The quote emphasizes the unique challenges that sons face as they grow into men, highlighting the hopes parents have for their sons and daughters in their future relationships.
Audre Lorde reflects on the transition from boyhood to manhood, suggesting that while daughters will develop within the influences of family, sons must navigate the world independently. The quote underscores the importance of parenting in shaping the character of sons, with a focus on encouraging them to develop their individuality while carrying forward the lessons learned from their upbringing.
In practice
In a parenting seminar discussing the challenges of raising boys.
The fact that we are here and that I speak these words is an attempt to break that silence and bridge some of those differences between us, for it is not difference which immobilizes us, but silence. And there are so many silences to be broken.
There is no thing as a single-issue struggle because we do not live single-issue lives.
There are no new ideas. There are only new ways of making them felt.
I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.
I am deliberate and afraid of nothing.
There's always someone asking you to underline one piece of yourself - whether it's Black, woman, mother, dyke, teacher, etc. - because that's the piece that they need to key in to. They want to dismiss everything else.
It is hard, if not impossible, to snub a beautiful woman - they remain beautiful and the snub recoils.
You can't just make yourself matter and then die, Alaska, because now I am irretrievably different, and I'm sorry I let you go, yes, but you made the choice. You left me Perhapsless, stuck in your goddamned labyrinth. And now I don't even know if you chose the straight and fast way out, if you left me like this on purpose. And so I never knew you, did I? I can't remember, because I never knew.
He that takes a wife, takes care
The most important value I've taught my children is respect for every creed, colour or race. When we bleed, we bleed the same blood. I've always taught my kids never to look down on anyone or to not have anyone look down on them.
A disquieting loneliness came into my life, but it induced no hunger for friends of longer acquaintance: they seemed now like a salt-free, sugarless diet.
I miss God. I miss the company of someone utterly loyal. I still don't think of God as my betrayer. The servants of God, yes, but servants by their very nature betray. I miss God who was my friend. I don't even know if God exists, but I do know that if God is your emotional role model, very few human relationships will match up to it.
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