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There are three ways you can get along with a girl: one, shut up and listen to what she has to say; two, tell her you like what she's wearing; and three, treat her to really good food...If you do all that and still don't get the results you want, better give up.
Haruki Murakami
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Interpretation

What this quote means

Building a connection with someone often requires attentive listening and showing appreciation.

Haruki Murakami's quote emphasizes the importance of active listening, complimenting, and treating a girl well as fundamental steps to foster a positive relationship. However, it also acknowledges that even when one tries their best, success in romantic endeavors is not guaranteed, suggesting the need for acceptance when things don’t work out.

Themes

RelationshipsCommunicationListeningAppreciationFailure

In practice

Example use cases

During a talk about dating advice, one might refer to Murakami's insights on how to communicate with girls.

More from Haruki Murakami

You are 27 or 28 right? It is very tough to live at that age. When nothing is sure. I have sympathy with you.
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They take the circuits out of people’s brains that make it possible for them to think for themselves. Their world is like the one that George Orwell depicted in his novel. I’m sure you realize that there are plenty of people who are looking for exactly that kind of brain death. It makes life a lot easier. You don’t have to think about difficult things, just shut up and do what your superiors tell you to do.
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Memories and thoughts age, just as people do. But certain thoughts can never age, and certain memories can never fade.
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I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.
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Everybody burns out in this world; amateur, pro, it doesn't matter, they all burn out, they all get hurt, the OK guys and the not-OK guys both. That's why everybody takes out a little insurance. I've got some too, here at the bottom of the heap. That way, you manage to survive if you burn out. If you're all by yourself and don't belong anywhere, you go down once, and you're out. Finished.
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Life is so uncertain: you never know what could happen. One way to deal with that is to keep your pajamas washed.
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