The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic of psychological trauma.
Over time as most people fail the survivor's exacting test of trustworthiness, she tends to withdraw from relationships. The isolation of the survivor thus persists even after she is free.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote highlights how survivors, particularly those who have faced betrayal, often struggle to trust others and withdraw from relationships even after escaping harmful situations.
Judith Lewis Herman illustrates the long-lasting effects of trauma on survivors, particularly emphasizing that their experiences can lead to difficulties in establishing trust within personal relationships. As these individuals have often been let down by those they relied on, they may retreat into isolation, making it challenging to connect with others, even when they are no longer in a harmful environment. This withdrawal is a painful consequence of their past experiences, reflecting the emotional scars that can persist long after the physical dangers have passed.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
In a support group for survivors of trauma, this quote could help initiate a discussion about trust issues in relationships.
More from Judith Lewis Herman
All quotes βThe legal system is designed to protect men from the superior power of the state but not to protect women or children from the superior power of men. It therefore provides strong guarantees for the rights of the accused but essentially no guarantees for the rights of the victim. If one set out by design to devise a system for provoking intrusive post-traumatic symptoms, one could not do better than a court of law.
... in practice the standard for what constitutes rape is set not at the level of women's experience of violation but just above the level of coercion acceptable to men.
Similar quotes
You can't organize people if you don't love them. And however hard it can be to love the racist you come in contact with; doing so is the first obligation of a white antiracist.
Self-interest is the enemy of all true affection.
They weren't happy, and neither of them had touched the chicken or the ale---and yet they weren't unhappy either. There was an unmistakable air of natural intimacy about the picture and anybody would have said that they were conspiring together.
Never say that marriage has more of joy than pain.
I wonder what memories of yours will persist as you go on in life. My hunch is that the most important will have to do with feelings of loving and being loved - friends, family, teachers, shopkeepers - whoever's been close to you. As you continue to grow, you'll find many ways of expressing your love and you'll discover more and more ways in which others express their love for you.
While having friends of color is better than not having them, it doesn't change the overall system or prevent racism from surfacing in our relationships. The societal default is white superiority, and we are fed a steady diet of it 24/7. To not actively seek to interrupt racism is to internalize and accept it.