The only possible recourse a baby has when his screams are ignored is to repress his distress, which is tantamount to mutilating his soul, for the result is an interference with his ability to feel, to be aware, and to remember.
Alice MillerRead
The truth about childhood, as many of us have had to endure it, is inconceivable, scandalous, painful. Not uncommonly, it is monstrous. Invariably, it is repressed. To be confronted with this truth all at once and to try to integrate it into our consciousness, however ardently we may wish it, is clearly impossible.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Childhood experiences can be deeply troubling and difficult to confront.
Alice Miller's quote emphasizes the complex and often painful nature of childhood memories that many individuals struggle to acknowledge. It suggests that the truths of our formative years can be horrifying and are frequently repressed, making it nearly impossible to fully reconcile these experiences with our adult consciousness.
Themes
ChildhoodTruthMemoryPainRepression
In practice
Example use cases
During a mental health workshop discussing the impacts of childhood trauma.
More from Alice Miller
All quotes →We don't yet know, above all, what the world might be like if children were to grow up without being subjected to humiliation, if parents would respect them and take them seriously as people.
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I have never known a patient to portray his parents more negatively than he actually experienced them in childhood but always more positively--because idealization of his parents was essential for his survival.
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It is not true that evil, destructiveness , and perversion inevitably form part of human existence, no matter how often this is maintained. But it is true that we are daily producing more evil and, with it, an ocean of suffering for millions that is absolutely avoidable. When one day the ignorance arising from childhood repression is eliminated and humanity has awakened, an end can be put to this production of evil.
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Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.
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If it's very painful for you to criticize your friends - you're safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that's the time to hold your tongue.
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