I don't want to see anyone. I lie in the bedroom with the curtains drawn and nothingness washing over me like a sluggish wave. Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. I have done something wrong, something so huge I can't even see it, something that's drowning me. I am inadequate and stupid, without worth. I might as well be dead.
Interpretation
The quote expresses deep feelings of isolation, guilt, and worthlessness experienced by an individual.
Margaret Atwood's quote poignantly captures the overwhelming sense of despair that can arise from deep introspection and self-judgment. The speaker feels isolated and paralyzed by a sense of inadequacy, suggesting that their internal struggle is tied to personal failures that are so profound they obscure their ability to see a way forward. The metaphor of 'nothingness washing over me' illustrates the suffocating nature of this emotional turmoil, reflecting the connection between mental anguish and feelings of self-worth.
In practice
This quote can be shared during a mental health awareness event to highlight the struggles of those feeling overwhelmed.
If I am good enough and quiet enough, perhaps after all they will let me go; but it’s not easy being quiet and good, it’s like hanging on to the edge of a bridge when you’ve already fallen over; you don’t seem to be moving, just dangling there, and yet it is taking all your strength.
I would like to believe this is a story I’m telling. I need to believe it. I must believe it. Those who can believe that such stories are only stories have a better chance. If it’s a story I’m telling, then I have control over the ending. Then there will be an ending, to the story, and real life will come after it. I can pick up where I left off.
What else can I do? Once you've gone this far you aren't fit for anything else. Something happens to your mind. You're overqualified, overspecialized, and everybody knows it. Nobody in any other game would be crazy enough to hire me. I wouldn't even make a good ditch-digger, I'd start tearing apart the sewer-system, trying to pick-axe and unearth all those chthonic symbols - pipes, valves, cloacal conduits... No, no. I'll have to be a slave in the paper-mines for all time.
We love each other, that’s true whatever it means, but we aren’t good at it; for some it’s a talent, for others only an addiction.
I've learned quite a lot, over the years, by avoiding what I was supposed to be learning.
Knowing too much about other people puts you in their power, they have a claim on you, you are forced to understand their reasons for doing things and then you are weakened.
Dying was nothing and he had no picture of it nor fear of it in his mind. But living was a field of grain blowing in the wind on the side of a hill. Living was a hawk in the sky. Living was an earthen jar of water in the dust of the threshing with the grain flailed out and the chaff blowing. Living was a horse between your legs and a carbine under one leg and a hill and a valley and a stream with trees along it and the far side of the valley and the hills beyond.
And I put the latte down on a table, awash in the happy middle of my greatest adventure.
There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.
I just have a great life. I know great people. I've had great relationships - all different kinds of relationships. I am so lucky to be on the little golden path that led me to all this.
I've been praying to God to show me how to forgive myself. Because... maybe... that's the thing I've been searching for.
Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it.
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