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My children cause me the most exquisite suffering of which I have any experience. It is the suffering of ambivalence: the murderous alternation between bitter resentment and raw-edged nerves, and blissful gratification and tenderness. Sometimes I seem to myself, in my feelings toward these tiny guiltless beings, a monster of selfishness and intolerance.
Adrienne Rich
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Interpretation

What this quote means

This quote expresses the complex and conflicting emotions a parent experiences regarding their children, encompassing both love and struggle.

Adrienne Rich reflects on the intense and often contradictory feelings that come with motherhood. The quote illustrates the dual nature of parental love, revealing how it can be accompanied by struggles with ambivalence, where moments of deep joy and gratitude coexist with feelings of frustration and resentment. This emotional complexity emphasizes the challenges inherent in nurturing children, highlighting how a parent's passionate feelings can oscillate between pride and distress, ultimately showcasing the depth of love intertwined with the burdens of responsibility.

Themes

ParenthoodEmotionsLoveSufferingAmbivalence

In practice

Example use cases

During a heartfelt conversation about parenting at a family gathering.

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It is the suffering of ambivalence: the murderous alternation between bitter resentment and raw-edged nerves, and blissful gratification and tenderness
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It's as if, in the mother's eyes, her smile, her stroking touch, the child first reads the message:'You are there!'
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Pride is a tricky, glorious, double-edged feeling.
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