Before I discovered the concept of the 5 love languages, a bit of advice I was given was to become a student of my wife and to take time to learn what makes her feel loved. I soon learned that what makes her feel loved may not always be the thing I want to do because it may not come natural to me. But learning to love her in the way that makes her feel loved is a greater demonstration of my love for her, because I've chosen to do it with a goal of pleasing her.
Interpretation
Understanding and adapting to your partner's love language enhances your relationship.
This quote emphasizes the importance of recognizing and learning to express love in ways that resonate with your partner. It highlights that true love involves selflessness, effort, and a willingness to understand and meet your partner's emotional needs, even if it requires stepping out of your comfort zone.
In practice
During a couple's workshop on relationships.
Good marriages are built upon a combination of emotional love and a common commitment to a core of beliefs about what is important in life and what we wish to do with our lives. Speaking each other's primary love language creates the emotional climate where these beliefs can be fleshed out in daily life.
If you want to improve a relationship, it's not that you demand your spouse to change. You have to ask, 'Where did I fail in this relationship?'
People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.
Typically, we get annoyed when our spouses complain. We get defensive. But, really, when your spouse complains, he or she is giving you wonderful information about what would make him or her feel loved.
People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.
It's always been a great survival value for people to believe they belong to a superior tribe. That's just in human relationships.
You know me better than you think, you know, and you shall know me better yet.
Every lizard lies on its belly, so we cannot tell which has a belly-ache
You can give words, but you can't take them. And when words are given, that is when they are shared. We remember what that was like. Words so real they were almost tangible. There are conversations you remember, for certain. But more than that, there is the sensation of conversation. You will remember that, even when the precise words begin to blur.
Let us be a temple-attending people. Attend the temple as frequently as personal circumstances allow. Keep a picture of a temple in your home that your children may see it. Teach them about the purposes of the House of the Lord. Have them plan from their earliest years to go there and to remain worthy of that blessing.
God will always bring the right people into your life, but you have to let the wrong people walk away.
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