The only possible recourse a baby has when his screams are ignored is to repress his distress, which is tantamount to mutilating his soul, for the result is an interference with his ability to feel, to be aware, and to remember.
Alice MillerRead
It is very difficult for people to believe the simple fact that every persecutor was once a victim. Yet it should be very obvious that someone who was allowed to feel free and strong from childhood does not have the need to humiliate another person.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote highlights the cycle of victimization and how past experiences influence behavior.
Alice Miller's quote emphasizes that the roots of harmful behavior, such as persecution, often lie in past victimization. It suggests that those who have experienced freedom and strength in their formative years are less likely to oppress others, pointing to the importance of understanding and compassion towards all individuals, especially those who may have caused harm due to their own suffering.
Themes
VictimPersecutorBehaviorUnderstandingCompassion
In practice
Example use cases
In an educational workshop about bullying, this quote can be used to illustrate the importance of empathy.
More from Alice Miller
All quotes βThe truth about childhood, as many of us have had to endure it, is inconceivable, scandalous, painful. Not uncommonly, it is monstrous. Invariably, it is repressed. To be confronted with this truth all at once and to try to integrate it into our consciousness, however ardently we may wish it, is clearly impossible.
Alice MillerRead
We don't yet know, above all, what the world might be like if children were to grow up without being subjected to humiliation, if parents would respect them and take them seriously as people.
Alice MillerRead
I have never known a patient to portray his parents more negatively than he actually experienced them in childhood but always more positively--because idealization of his parents was essential for his survival.
Alice MillerRead
It is not true that evil, destructiveness , and perversion inevitably form part of human existence, no matter how often this is maintained. But it is true that we are daily producing more evil and, with it, an ocean of suffering for millions that is absolutely avoidable. When one day the ignorance arising from childhood repression is eliminated and humanity has awakened, an end can be put to this production of evil.
Alice MillerRead
Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.
Alice MillerRead
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