Whatever terrible things may have happened to you, only one thing allows them to damage your core self, and that is continued belief in them.
Martha BeckRead
Something in the human psyche confuses beauty with the right to be loved. The briefest glance at human folly reveals that good looks and worthiness operate independently. Yet countless socializing forces, from Aunt Clara to the latest perfume ad, reinforce beliefs like 'If I were pretty enough, I would be loved.'
Interpretation
Beauty does not guarantee love, as worthiness and appearance are separate concepts.
Martha Beck's quote highlights the misconception that physical beauty is directly correlated with being worthy of love. It points to the societal pressures that lead individuals to believe that attractiveness equates to their value in relationships, challenging the notion that true love stems from beauty rather than personal worth and character.
In practice
In a discussion about self-esteem, you might use this quote to emphasize the importance of inner worth.
Whatever terrible things may have happened to you, only one thing allows them to damage your core self, and that is continued belief in them.
Instead of fretting about getting everything done, why not simply accept that being alive means having things to do? Then drop into full engagement with whatever you're doing, and let the worry go.
When fear makes your choices for you, no security measures on earth will keep the things you dread from finding you. But if you can avoid avoidance - if you can choose to embrace experiences out of passion, enthusiasm, and a readiness to feel whatever arises - then nothing, nothing in all this dangerous world, can keep you from being safe.
To complete your daily mental hygiene, observe any part of you that is upset or anxious, and offer that part of yourself the following simple wishes: 'May you be well. May you be happy. May you be free from suffering.' Repeat this until you actually mean it.
Since our society equates happiness with youth, we often assume that sorrow, quiet desperation, and hopelessness go hand in hand with getting older. They don't. Emotional pain or numbness are symptoms of living the wrong life, not a long life.
To live a life that is wrong for you is a form of dying. There are people who have lives that look perfect. They try to be happy, they believe they should be happy, they are trying to like it, but if it's off course from their north star, they aren't satisfied.
You don't come home from the office to spend time with another job. Hopefully you come home to someone you can have a good time with.
The tongue has no bones, but can break a heart.
This endured absence is nothing more or less than forgetfulness. I am, intermittently, unfaithful. This is the condition of my survival.
So she viewed time spent in the land of the normal as an investigation into the world of marriage-worthy men, even if she was unsure about her own interest in marriage. There must be one solid citizen who also had a spark of life, a sense of humor and adventure.
Strange how one person can saturate a room with vitality, with excitement. Then there are others, and this dame was one of them, who can drain off energy and joy, can suck pleasure dry and get no sustenance from it. Such people spread a grayness in the air about them.
...but before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself.
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