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Loving kindness towards ourselves doesn't mean getting rid of anything. It means we can still be crazy after all these years. We can still be angry after all these years. We can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness. The point is not to try to throw ourselves away and become something better. It's about befriending who we are already.
Pema Chodron
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Interpretation

What this quote means

Loving kindness involves accepting ourselves as we are, flaws and all.

This quote emphasizes that practicing loving kindness towards ourselves doesn't require us to erase our negative feelings or aspects of our personality. Instead, it encourages us to embrace our true selves, including our perceived shortcomings, and to befriend our emotions, understanding that they are part of our humanity and growth.

Themes

Self-AcceptanceKindnessEmotionsGrowthSelf-Love

In practice

Example use cases

In a workshop on mental health, this quote can serve as a reminder to participants that it's okay to have imperfections.

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The spiritual journey involves going beyond hope and fear, stepping into unknown territory, continually moving forward. The most important aspect of being on the spiritual path may be just to keep moving.
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It's said that when we die, the four elements - earth, air, fire and water - dissolve one by one, each into the other, and finally just dissolve into space. But while we're living, we share the energy that makes everything, from a blade of grass to an elephant, grow and live and then inevitably wear out and die. This energy, this life force, creates the whole world.
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Meditation practice isn’t about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It’s about befriending who we are already. The ground of practice is you or me or whoever we are right now, just as we are. That’s the ground, that’s what we study, that’s what we come to know with tremendous curiosity and interest.
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We have two alternatives: either we question our beliefs - or we don't. Either we accept our fixed versions of reality- or we begin to challenge them. In Buddha's opinion, to train in staying open and curious - to train in dissolving our assumptions and beliefs - is the best use of our human lives.
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