It is in books, poems, paintings which often give us the confidence to take seriously feelings in ourselves that we might otherwise never have thought to acknowledge.
Alain De BottonRead
We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone as beautiful, intelligent, and witty as we are ugly, stupid, and dull. But what if such a perfect being should one day turn around and decide they will love us back? We can only be somewhat shocked-how can they be as wonderful as we had hoped when they have the bad taste to approve of someone like us?
Interpretation
What this quote means
This quote explores the paradox of self-esteem and love, questioning how we perceive ourselves in relation to those we desire.
Alain De Botton's quote delves into the complexities of love and self-worth. It suggests that we often seek romantic connections to escape our perceived flaws and shortcomings, longing for someone extraordinary to validate us. Yet, the possibility that this ideal partner might actually reciprocate our feelings can lead to a shock, as we struggle to reconcile their affection with our own self-doubt, highlighting the intricate dynamics of love, self-image, and acceptance.
Themes
LoveSelf-EsteemRelationshipsAcceptanceSelf-Doubt
In practice
Example use cases
During a wedding toast, you could share this quote to emphasize the beauty and complexity of love.
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The more closely we analyze what we consider 'sexy,' the more clearly we will understand that eroticism is the feeling of excitement we experience at finding another human being who shares our values and our sense of the meaning of existence.
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Good books put a finger on emotions that are deeply our own - but that we could never have described on our own.
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The challenge of modern relationships: how to prove more interesting than the other's smartphone.
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It is the most ambitious and driven among us who are the most sorely in need of having our reckless hopes dampened through immersive dousings in the darkness which religions have explored. This is a particular priority for secular Americans, perhaps the most anxious and disappointed people on earth, for their nation infuses them with the most extreme hopes about what they may be able to achieve in their working lives and relationships.
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