You know the old adage: Plant an expectation, reap a disappointment.
My mother has made choices in her life, as we all must, and she is at peace with them. I can see her peace. She did not cop out on herself. The benefits of her choices are massive-a long, stable marriage to a man she still calls her best friend; a family that has extended now into grandchildren who adore her; a certainty in her own strength. Maybe some things were sacrificed, and my dad made his sacrifices, too-but who amongst us lives without sacrifice?
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote reflects on the choices and sacrifices made in life, underscoring the peace that comes from living authentically and valuing relationships.
In this quote, Elizabeth Gilbert emphasizes the importance of individual choices and the tranquility that comes from standing by them. By highlighting her mother's fulfilled life—grounded in a loving marriage, a supportive family, and personal strength—Gilbert acknowledges that every life involves sacrifices. However, she also suggests that true fulfillment arises from meaningful connections and remaining true to oneself, ultimately leading to a sense of peace and contentment.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
During a family gathering, you might share this quote to reflect on your mother's life choices and the impact on your family's happiness.
More from Elizabeth Gilbert
All quotes →Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots.
I had always been taught that the pursuit of happiness was my natural (even national) birthright. It is the emotional trademark of my culture to seek happiness. Not just any kind of happiness, either, but profound happiness, even soaring happiness. And what could possibly bring a person more soaring happiness than romantic love.
When I tried this morning, after an hour or so of unhappy thinking, to dip back into my meditation, I took a new idea with me: compassion. I asked my heart if it could please infuse my soul with a more generous perspective on my mind's workings. Instead of thinking that I was a failure, could I perhaps accept that I am only a human being--and a normal one, at that?
And when you sense a faint potentiality for happiness after such dark times you must grab onto the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt - this is not selfishness, but obligation. You were given life; it is your duty to find something beautiful within life no matter how slight.
But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilling yearnings.
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Real luxury is having the time to read endless stories in bed with my children. And I get that all the time. I'm so blessed.
Is my mother my friend? I would have to say, first of all she is my Mother, with a capital 'M'; she's something sacred to me. I love her dearly...yes, she is also a good friend, someone I can talk openly with if I want to.
The fundamental defect of fathers, in our competitive society, is that they want their children to be a credit to them.
My professional and personal roots in Alabama are deep and lasting.
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Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that's why I call you dad, because you are so special to me. You taught me the game and you taught me how to play it right.