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It's very rare to have a patient who isn't absolutely delighted when you say, 'I read your feedback. The session didn't go well. You actually got more upset, and I made about three really horrible errors.' If you do that from the heart and not as a gimmick, boy, it's a wonderful thing.
David D. Burns
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Interpretation

What this quote means

Acknowledging mistakes and being open about feedback fosters a strong connection with others.

In this quote, David D. Burns emphasizes the importance of honesty and vulnerability in relationships, particularly in a therapeutic context. By openly acknowledging one's mistakes and expressing genuine interest in feedback, a deeper trust and understanding is cultivated, leading to positive outcomes for both parties involved. Such authenticity not only enhances the therapeutic process but also strengthens interpersonal bonds.

Themes

FeedbackHonestyRelationshipsVulnerabilityTrust

In practice

Example use cases

In a therapy session, mentioning this quote can help set a tone of openness and honesty.

More from David D. Burns

Depression can seem worse than terminal cancer, because most cancer patients feel loved and they have hope and self-esteem.
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That's one of the peculiar things about bad moods - we often fool ourselves and create misery by telling ourselves things that simply are not true.
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Most people do surprisingly poorly when dealing with a relative who is hurting, depressed, or anxious - we get defensive and try to solve the problem rather than finding the truth in what the person is saying.
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Negative thinking patterns can be immensely deceptive and persuasive, and change is rarely easy. But with patience and persistence, I believe that nearly all individuals suffering from depression can improve and experience a sense of joy and self-esteem once again.
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A poor self-image is the magnifying glass that can transform a trivial mistake or an imperfection into an overwhelming symbol of personal defeat.
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I'm all for 'tools,' not 'schools,' of therapy. To me, the schools of therapy compete much like religions, or even cults, all claiming to know the cause and to have the best method for treating people.
David D. BurnsRead

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