When we reach reflexively for something to dull an ache inside of us, in that very moment of reaching, we are hiding from our pain. We're storing it away. Tamping it down.
Interpretation
Avoiding emotional pain often leads to temporary solutions rather than healing.
Dani Shapiro's quote reflects on the human tendency to seek out distractions or numbing mechanisms whenever we experience emotional discomfort. Instead of confronting our pain and allowing ourselves to feel it, we might instinctively reach for external solutions that only suppress our true feelings, ultimately hindering genuine healing and self-awareness.
In practice
In a therapy session when discussing coping mechanisms for emotional pain.
The writing life requires courage, patience, persistence, empathy, openness, and the ability to deal with rejection. It requires the willingness to be alone with oneself. To be gentle with oneself. To look at the world without blinders on. To observe and withstand what one sees. To be disciplined, and at the same time, take risks. To be willing to fail - not just once, but again and again, over the course of a lifetime.
Writing well involves walking the path of most resistance. Sitting still, being patient, allowing the lunatic dream to take shape on the page, then the shaping, the pencil on the page, breathing, slowing down, being willing–no, more than willing, being wide open–to press the bruise until it blossoms.
Confidence is highly overrated when it comes to creating literature. A writer who is overly confident will not engage in the struggle to get it exactly right on the page - but rather, will assume that she's getting it right without the struggle.
I try to remember that the job - as well as the plight, and the unexpected joy - of the artist is to embrace uncertainty, to be sharpened and honed by it.
Sometimes one must try anything, it is no disgrace. On the contrary, it is a sign of wisdom.
Expect much from yourself and little from others and you will avoid incurring resentments
O soul, be patient: thou shalt find A little matter mend all this; Some strain of music to thy mind, Some praise for skill not spent amiss.
Ironically, in today's marketplace successful nonfiction has to be unbelievable, while successful fiction must be believable.
Sure, I went through my 'J'accuse' phase. I was so angry for so long, I could hardly have a conversation without getting into an argument. And it was only when I felt I could finally distance myself from my past that I began to write about what happened - not just to me, but to lots of young people. I think my story is a cautionary tale.
Even if the whole world turns their back on you, you will always have yourself.
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