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I was the subject of an experiment in love. I lived my life under her gaze, undergoing certain trials for her so that she would not have to undergo them for herself. But, how are our certainties forged, except by the sweat and tears of other people? If your parents don't teach you how to live; you learn it from books; and clever people watch you learn from your mistakes.
Hilary Mantel
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Interpretation

What this quote means

The quote explores the nature of love and learning through the experiences and sacrifices made for others.

In this quote, Hilary Mantel reflects on the dynamics of love and the lessons we learn throughout our lives. She suggests that love often involves selfless acts of sacrifice and that our certainties and wisdom are shaped not just by our own experiences, but also by the struggles and insights of others. The essence of learning to live is depicted as a collaborative journey—either taught by parents, discovered through literature, or gleaned from observing the experiences of those around us.

Themes

LoveSacrificeLearningExperienceWisdom

In practice

Example use cases

In a wedding speech, one might use this quote to highlight the sacrifices made in the name of love.

More from Hilary Mantel

The experienced writer says to the anguished novice: 'Just do it; get something, anything, on to the screen or page, just establish a flow of words, and criticise them later.' You give this advice but can't always take it.
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History is always changing behind us, and the past changes a little every time we retell it.
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Why are we so attached to the severities of the past? Why are we so proud of having endured our fathers and our mothers, the fireless days and the meatless days, the cold winters and the sharp tongues? It's not as if we had a choice.
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He is careful to deny responsibility for September, but he does not, you notice, condemn the killings. He also refrains from killing words, sparing Roland and Buzot, as if they were beneath his notice. August 10 was illegal, he says; so too was the taking of the Bastille. What account can we take of that, in revolution? It is the nature of revolutions to break laws. We are not justices of the peace; we are legislators to a new world.
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It is the absence of facts that frightens people: the gap you open, into which they pour their fears, fantasies, desires.
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History offers us vicarious experience. It allows the youngest student to possess the ground equally with his elders; without a knowledge of history to give him a context for present events, he is at the mercy of every social misdiagnosis handed to him.
Hilary MantelRead

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