It is in books, poems, paintings which often give us the confidence to take seriously feelings in ourselves that we might otherwise never have thought to acknowledge.
Alain De BottonRead
Though debts are condemned in the financial world, the world of friendship and love may perversely depend on well-managed debts.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Friendship and love can thrive on the balance of give and take, similar to well-managed debts.
In this quote, Alain De Botton highlights a paradox where, unlike financial debts which are typically viewed negatively, the emotional debts in friendships and love can be vital for sustaining healthy relationships. These 'debts' refer to the emotional investments we make in each other, where giving and receiving play crucial roles in nurturing bonds and ensuring mutual support.
Themes
FriendshipLoveDebtRelationshipsEmotional Investment
In practice
Example use cases
During a wedding toast reflecting on the importance of emotional debts in friendships.
More from Alain De Botton
All quotes →Taking architecture seriously therefore makes some singular and strenuous demands upon us...It means conceding that we are inconveniently vulnerable to the colour of our wallpaper and that our sense of purpose may be derailed by an unfortunate bedspread
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The more closely we analyze what we consider 'sexy,' the more clearly we will understand that eroticism is the feeling of excitement we experience at finding another human being who shares our values and our sense of the meaning of existence.
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Good books put a finger on emotions that are deeply our own - but that we could never have described on our own.
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The challenge of modern relationships: how to prove more interesting than the other's smartphone.
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It is the most ambitious and driven among us who are the most sorely in need of having our reckless hopes dampened through immersive dousings in the darkness which religions have explored. This is a particular priority for secular Americans, perhaps the most anxious and disappointed people on earth, for their nation infuses them with the most extreme hopes about what they may be able to achieve in their working lives and relationships.
Alain De BottonRead
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