Love is - OK, it's 20 things, but it isn't 19. And I think that love reaches for something which is very, very deep in us and is very easily obscured, and is also very easily denied, which is the instinct towards the other person, other than toward the self.
The trouble is, I can't find a part of myself where you're not important. I write in order to be worth your while and to finance the way I want to live with you. Not the way you want to live. The way I want to live with you. Without you I wouldn't care. I'd eat tinned spaghetti and put on yesterday's clothes. But as it is I change my socks, and make money, and tart up Brodie's unspeakable drivel into speakable drivel so he can be an author too, like me.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote reflects the deep importance of a beloved person in the speaker's life and how love motivates their actions and aspirations.
In this quote, Tom Stoppard articulates the profound impact that a significant other has on one’s identity and motivation. The speaker expresses that their love for this person drives them to strive for a better life, highlighting the idea that passion and relationships can transform mundane existence into something meaningful. The mundane act of living is elevated by the presence of love, showing that true fulfillment comes from the connections we maintain with those we cherish, rather than the superficial trappings of success or wealth.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
In a romantic relationship discussion, one might use this quote to emphasize the importance of love in driving personal ambitions.
More from Tom Stoppard
All quotes →A movie camera is like having someone you have a crush on watching you from afar - you pretend it's not there.
I once did a radio program with a famous materialist, that is to say a scientist who believed that absolutely everything was physical and that all emotions were reductive to little electrical impulses in your neurons. And I found that I didn't believe that. But what the emotions really are, I don't have an alternative theory.
One of the reasons why there are so many versions of Chekhov is that translations date in a way that the original doesn't; translations seem to be of their time.
A Chinaman of the T'ang Dynasty—and, by which definition, a philosopher—dreamed he was a butterfly, and from that moment he was never quite sure that he was not a butterfly dreaming it was a Chinese philosopher. Envy him; in his two-fold security.
Chekhov directors and Chekhov actors love working on his plays because there seems to be no end to what you can find out about the micro-narrative when you're investigating a text.
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An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
He sometimes wondered if she had become involved with him just so that she could cry in someone's arms. Maybe she can't cry alone, and that's why she needs me.
Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold onto something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it’s so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn’t come back. You’re left so alone that you can’t explain.
At some point, you grow out of being attracted to that flame that burns you over and over and over again.
Ah men, why do you want all this attention? I can write poems for myself, make love to a doorknob if absolutely necessary. What do you have to offer me I can't find otherwise except humiliation? Which I no longer need.
Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.