Why can't women get along? Because we're afraid. We're afraid to be vulnerable. We're afraid to be soft. We're afraid to be hurt. But most of all, we're afraid of our power. So we become controlling and aggressive and vicious.
Iyanla VanzantRead
You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Healing from past wounds is essential for emotional well-being, as temporary fixes won't solve deep-seated issues.
This quote emphasizes the importance of addressing unresolved pain from the past rather than attempting to mask it with temporary distractions or behaviors. Iyanla Vanzant urges individuals to confront their emotional struggles head-on, acknowledging that only through a deliberate process of healing can one truly move forward and find peace. The metaphor of bleeding represents the ongoing impact of unhealed trauma, while the call to 'pull out the core of the pain' highlights the need for deep personal reflection and acceptance in order to achieve lasting recovery.
Themes
HealingPainPastAcceptanceEmotionalGrowth
In practice
Example use cases
Using this quote in a therapy session to discuss the importance of addressing past trauma.
More from Iyanla Vanzant
All quotes →Challenges come so we can grow and be prepared for things we are not equipped to handle now. When we face our challenges with faith, prepared to learn, willing to make changes, and if necessary, to let go, we are demanding our power be turned on.
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Feminine power is silent, dark, mysterious, healing, nurturing. A woman can walk into a room and control it. She doesn't even have to open her mouth if she knows where her power is.
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You know when I was 20 and 30, they were insecurities. Now they're just a new normal. I'm 60 years old, so my expectations of who I am and how I look and how I show up in the world had to shift. Not because I couldn't help it, or not because I did anything wrong, but because I had to get into the natural flow of my being as a woman.
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Your greatest adversary is also your greatest teacher. Like it or not, it is the job of certain people to bring out the worst in you. What they trigger is already in you. They are here to reveal the sore, tender wounded places in your heart and mind, and they are providing you with a wonderful and divine opportunity for healing.
Iyanla VanzantRead
You have a right to say no. Most of us have very weak and flaccid 'no' muscles. We feel guilty for saying no. We get ostracized and challenged for saying no, so we forget it's our choice. Your 'no' muscle has to be built up to get to a place where you can say, 'I don't care if that's what you want. I don't want that. No.'
Iyanla VanzantRead
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