Life is a near-death experience.
George CarlinRead
The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
Interpretation
This quote humorously highlights the different holy days observed by various religions, suggesting a light-hearted view of God's schedule.
George Carlin's quote plays on the idea that different religious groups designate different days of the week for worship, thus implying that God enjoys a 'three-day weekend' because of these variances. This witticism not only underscores the diversity of religious practices but also pokes fun at the concept of a single deity being tied to specific days set by human traditions.
In practice
This quote can be shared during a comedy show discussing religious humor.
Life is a near-death experience.
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.
Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate.
Poor empty pants With nobody inside them.
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Who you gonna believe-me or your lying eyes?
Wit is so shining a quality that everybody admires it; most people aim at it, all people fear it, and few love it unless in themselves. A man must have a good share of wit himself to endure a great share of it in another.
I can resist anything but the temptation to make a clever witticism.
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
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