Life is a near-death experience.
George CarlinRead
To me, fast food is when a cheetah eats an antelope.
Interpretation
This quote humorously contrasts the idea of fast food with a natural predator-prey relationship.
George Carlin's quote uses humor to redefine the concept of fast food by comparing it to a cheetah, known for its speed, quickly catching and consuming its prey, the antelope. This playful take suggests that the term 'fast food' can be interpreted in a more literal and natural sense, illustrating the irony of how we use the term in modern society.
In practice
Using this quote during a stand-up comedy routine to illustrate absurdity in how we perceive fast food.
Life is a near-death experience.
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.
Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate.
There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage.
Can't act. Can't sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little.
I don't know how to tell a joke. I never tell jokes. I can tell stories that happened to me... anecdotes. But never a joke.
You know what's a great way of tricking people into thinking you're a genius? Write a show about geniuses!
I don't believe in comedy as a TV genre - I think there's drama that is funny. Because beyond the laughs, there has to be cost, and there has to be heart.
Is the chemical aftertaste the reason why people eat hot dogs, or is it some kind of bonus?
Subscribe for the occasional hand-picked quote. No noise.