Life is a near-death experience.
George CarlinRead
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
Interpretation
Honesty is generally the best way to live, but sometimes dishonesty can seem preferable.
This quote by George Carlin uses humor to reflect on the paradox of honesty versus dishonesty. While he acknowledges that honesty is the ideal approach to life, he wryly suggests that if we eliminate honesty as a policy, dishonesty may gravitate towards being the second-best option, pointing out the complexities and absurdities of human behavior.
In practice
In a speech about integrity in business practices, one could quote this to emphasize the importance of honesty.
Life is a near-death experience.
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen.
Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate.
All the fun is in how you say a thing.
If there's anything I hate more than a stupid action comedy, it's an incompetent stupid action comedy. It's not so bad it's good. It's so bad it's nothing else but bad.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
If I existed 200 years ago, all the other farmers in my community would be like, 'That guy is worthless! He's sitting on a rock, jumping up like a frog, coming up with weird concepts and ideas, making faces, and combing his hair into a giant pastry.' It's a good thing I was born in this century, when superfluous television seems to be part of the economy.
I've just read that I am dead. Don't forget to delete me from your list of subscribers.
GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
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