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I myself, from the very beginning, Seemed to myself like someone's dream or delirium Or a reflection in someone else's mirror, Without flesh, without meaning, without a name. Already I knew the list of crimes That I was destined to commit.
Anna Akhmatova
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Interpretation

What this quote means

This quote reflects on the nature of identity and existential angst, suggesting a feeling of being unreal or lacking true essence.

In this quote, Anna Akhmatova expresses a profound sense of alienation and introspection. She conveys feelings of being like an apparition, devoid of substance and individuality, as if perceiving herself through the distorted lens of another's perspective. This resonates with themes of existential dread where one contemplates their purpose and the weight of their predetermined fate, symbolized by the acknowledgment of the 'list of crimes' she anticipates committing.

Themes

IdentityExistentialismAlienationIntrospectionFate

In practice

Example use cases

During a literary discussion on existential themes, this quote can illustrate the feeling of disconnection from oneself.

More from Anna Akhmatova

Wild honey smells of freedom The dust - of sunlight The mouth of a young girl, like a violet But gold - smells of nothing.
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And you know, I agree to everything: I will condemn, I will forget, I will give comfort to the enemy, Darkness will be light and sin lovely.
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Who will grieve for this woman? Does she not seem too insignificant for our concern? Yet in my heart I never will deny her, Who suffered death because she chose to turn.
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If you were music I would listen to you ceaselessly And my low spirits would brighten up.
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Not, not mine: it's somebody else's wound; I could never have borne it. So take the thing that happened, hide it, stick it in the ground; whisk the lamps away.
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I know beginnings, I know endings too, and life-in-death, and something else I'd rather not recall just now.
Anna AkhmatovaRead

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