Sister relationships span a huge range, from best friends to worst enemies. From 'I adore her; I talk to her five times a day' to 'I decided to cut her out of my life.' For most women, it's in between.
Interpretation
Sister relationships can be complex, ranging from deep affection to conflict.
Deborah Tannen emphasizes the varied dynamics of sister relationships, which can oscillate between extreme closeness and significant distance. While some sisters enjoy a relationship characterized by daily communication and adoration, others may find themselves in a position where they feel the need to sever ties altogether. The reality for most women falls somewhere in between, showcasing the complexity and depth of these familial bonds.
In practice
Using this quote in a speech about family dynamics.
Women as mothers grapple with corresponding contradictions. The adoration they feel for their grown daughters, mixed with the sense of responsibility for their well-being, can be overwhelming, matched only by the hurt they feel when their attempts to help or just stay connected are rebuffed or even excoriated as criticism or devilish interference.
The trickiest thing about the double bind is that it operates imperceptibly, like shots from a gun with a silencer.
For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships.
Mothers and daughters find in each other the source of great comfort but also of great pain. We talk to each other in better and worse ways than we talk to anyone else.
Our spirits are corroded by living in an atmosphere of unrelenting contention - an argument culture.
Treating people the same is not equal treatment if they are not the same.
The point of feminism is you shouldn't have to be a man to be treated with equal respect.
Take the pencil and write under my name, 'I forgive her.
I am certain that I speak on behalf of my entire nation when I say: Today, we are all Americans. In grief, as in defiance.
It is just as likely that as I invent what I want to say, you will invent what you want to hear.
To allow same-sex couples to adopt children and then to label their families as second-class because the adoptive parents are of the same sex is cruel as well as unconstitutional. Classifying some families, and especially their children, as of lesser value should be repugnant to all those in this nation who profess to believe in "family values."
It would be rare to find a woman who hadn't endured some kind of ridicule for stepping out of line. When the market dictates that a woman's value is primarily attached to her looks and deferential behaviour, it's the threat of sexually degrading insults that help to keep her in check.
Subscribe for the occasional hand-picked quote. No noise.