It is in books, poems, paintings which often give us the confidence to take seriously feelings in ourselves that we might otherwise never have thought to acknowledge.
Alain De BottonRead
Asking someone to be with us turns out to be an impossibly demanding and therefore pretty mean thing to suggest to anyone we would really want the best for.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Asking someone to commit to a relationship can be burdensome and unfair, especially if we truly care for their well-being.
This quote by Alain De Botton reflects on the complexity and challenges of relationships. It suggests that requesting someone to be with us can feel demanding and potentially selfish, as it may impose an obligation on the other person that could go against their desires or best interests. The recognition of this dilemma highlights the importance of considering the feelings and autonomy of others when we seek to connect with them.
Themes
RelationshipsCommitmentCareWell-BeingDemands
In practice
Example use cases
This quote can be shared during a discussion on healthy relationships.
More from Alain De Botton
All quotes βTaking architecture seriously therefore makes some singular and strenuous demands upon us...It means conceding that we are inconveniently vulnerable to the colour of our wallpaper and that our sense of purpose may be derailed by an unfortunate bedspread
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The more closely we analyze what we consider 'sexy,' the more clearly we will understand that eroticism is the feeling of excitement we experience at finding another human being who shares our values and our sense of the meaning of existence.
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Good books put a finger on emotions that are deeply our own - but that we could never have described on our own.
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The challenge of modern relationships: how to prove more interesting than the other's smartphone.
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It is the most ambitious and driven among us who are the most sorely in need of having our reckless hopes dampened through immersive dousings in the darkness which religions have explored. This is a particular priority for secular Americans, perhaps the most anxious and disappointed people on earth, for their nation infuses them with the most extreme hopes about what they may be able to achieve in their working lives and relationships.
Alain De BottonRead
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