Of the widow's countless death-duties there is really just one that matters: on the first anniversary of her husband's death the widow should think I kept myself alive.
He was ugly, himself. Weird-ugly. But ugliness in a man doesn't matter, much. Ugliness in a woman is her life.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote highlights the different societal perceptions of beauty based on gender, suggesting that a man's ugliness is overlooked while a woman's is critically judged.
Joyce Carol Oates underscores the harshness of societal standards regarding physical appearance, particularly for women. She argues that while a man's ugliness may not significantly impact his life or social standing, a woman faces severe judgments and limitations because of her looks, illustrating the gender disparity in the value placed on beauty. This comment draws attention to the unfair reality that women are often defined by their physical appearance more than men, affecting their opportunities and self-worth.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
In a discussion about how media shapes our views on beauty standards.
More from Joyce Carol Oates
All quotes →I never really knew I wanted to 'be' a writer, but I was always writing from a very young age. It became more conscious as an ideal when I was in my twenties.
I'm drawn to write about upstate New York in the way in which a dreamer might have recurring dreams. My childhood and girlhood were spent in upstate New York, in the country north of Buffalo and West of Rochester. So this part of New York state is very familiar to me and, with its economic difficulties, has become emblematic of much of American life.
My writing is often a way of 'bearing witness' for others who lack the education and the opportunity to tell their own stories, so I hope that my writing won't be affected too much by my personal life.
The worst cynicism: a belief in luck.
. . . there is a wish in the heart of mankind to be distracted and confused. Truth is but one attraction, and not always the most powerful.
Similar quotes
Usually when I go to a place for the first time, unless there's something historical or spectacular that nature has to offer, the first thing I like to do is see what's on the minds of the people.
They say it's the white man I should fear, But it's my own kind doin' all the killin' here.
When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.
Yesterday my daughter said to me, 'My marriage is falling apart.' And now all she can do is watch it falling.
Don't say 'wife.' I'm your mistress. Wife's such an ugly word. Your 'permanent mistress' is so much more tangible and desirable… .
What happens when people open their hearts?"... "They get better.