Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs
Interpretation
What this quote means
Compliments and praise often reflect our own unmet needs rather than genuine appreciation for others.
This quote by Marshall B. Rosenberg highlights how compliments and praise can sometimes stem from our own desire for validation and recognition, rather than a true acknowledgment of someone's qualities or contributions. It suggests that when we express admiration, it may be intertwined with our personal needs, indicating a deeper emotional context in our interactions.
Themes
ComplimentsPraiseNeedsRelationshipsRecognition
In practice
Example use cases
In a team meeting, when giving feedback, remember that your praise may be more about your own needs for validation than the actual contributions of others.
More from Marshall B. Rosenberg
All quotes βWhether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.
Marshall B. RosenbergRead
Similar quotes
Closeness can lead to emotions other than love. It's the ones who have been too intimate with you, lived in too close quarters, seen too much of your pain or envy or, perhaps more than anything, your shame, who, at the crucial moment, can be too easy to cut out, to exile, to expel, to kill off.
Daniel MendelsohnRead
Growing up, I didn't feel cool; I didn't fit into any crowd.
Madonna CicconeRead
Are you the new person drawn toward me?
Walt WhitmanRead
He is very fond of me, almost too fond. I could do with less caressing and more rationality. I should like to be less of a pet and more of a friend, if I might choose; but I won't complain of that: I am only afraid his affection loses in depth where it gains in ardour. I sometimes liken it to a fire of dry twigs and branches compared with one of solid coal, very bright and hot; but if it should burn itself out and leave nothing but ashes behind.
Anne BronteRead
I don't want the words to be naked the way they are in faxes or in the computer. I want them to be covered by an envelope that you have to rip open in order to get at. I want there to be a waiting time -a pause between the writing and the reading. I want us to be careful about what we say to each other. I want the miles between us to be real and long. This will be our law -that we write our dailiness and our suffering very, very carefully.
Siri HustvedtRead
The miscegenation laws of the South only operate against the legitimate union of the races; they leave the white man free to seduce all the colored girls he can, but it is death to the colored man who yields to the force and advances of a similar attraction in white women. White men lynch the offending Afro-American, not because he is a despoiler of virtue, but because he succumbs to the smiles of white women.
Ida B. WellsRead